Child of the Light.
I am a child of the light. So it stands to reason that I am drawn to those wrapped in darkness. Whether this fatal attraction is due to my souls’ longing to join this darkness or my desire to vanquish it, I have no idea.
Their smoke is lit up in patterns as the strobe light flashes to the rhythm of the song. Their chatter and raucous laughter suggest they are happy, but their eyes tell a different story. I see my friends soar higher than the birds on shit that is not legal. I see them slip notes under the table in exchange for a habit that will ultimately destroy what they have worked so hard to become. I see my loved ones out of their bodies, removed from rationality, drink sloshing down their fronts and onto the floor in an amber pool of madness. The words that form from their lips are disjointed, sporadic, nonsense. People argue in half sentences and friendships are destroyed when someone locks lips with the wrong person. I lean against the wall and watch the demons posses the people I know, or rather, I thought I knew. It burns me up inside watching them ‘enjoying’ themselves. I wince as the youngest of us all is led towards a back room by her boyfriend. Too drunk to realise what she is giving up, or too aware of what he wants from her that she can’t refuse. A drink is passed my way. I shake my head at an offer of a cigarette. “You’re no fun!” they say. But I’m their ticket home.
I am a child of light. So it stands to reason I am drawn towards children of the shadow. A magnetic force binds us together. It forces us to shove each other violently away. My hopes and aspirations have been smothered by these children of darkness, just as often as I have burnt away their dreams and goals. I am a child of light. My mission is to take morals, self control and faith to the nations. So it stands to reason I am drawn to the darkest dregs of humanity. But whether it is to join this darkness or to vanquish it I do not know. I see children surround the weakest, dorkiest, smartest, fattest, ugliest ones among them. Hovering at the edges of play grounds like sharks to blood. I see people so wrapped up within themselves that they fail to notice the world around them and the carnage they leave behind in their wake. Children of darkness have but one goal, to stop me and others like me, from achieving ours. To encourage Pandora to open the box once more, letting hope escape for good.
I am a child of light. So it’s only natural that my very core is consumed by darkness. Fear chains me to the known, a pressing blindness preventing me from pushing back the shroud that covers the map of humanity. Music that is not music echo’s to the deepest reaches of my soul, feral howls, screams and bestial roars calm me, pushing the fractured thoughts into small corners of my unsettled mind as I cry. Rage consumes me as I am once again overlooked for my lack of superficial beauty, sporting prowess and artificial intelligence. Strength born of blood lust forces me onto victory, the bruises on my body beg me to find pleasure in other people’s pain.
I am a child of light. Consequently I have many enemies. They line the halls, waiting for me to slip up so they can point out and take advantage of my short comings. They offer me temptations, sex, money, drugs, alcohol and fake brotherhood, all cheep trinkets. All there just for me, and for a million other people, if, and only if I put aside my light. I am a child of light, so bitterly drawn to the darkness.
Hannah Dearlove
No comments:
Post a Comment